Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.
So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.
So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.
So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…
And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…
Holy shit.
This is glorious
I like Dale. He’d break up with a bigoted girlfriend and he wears bathrobes like a cape. Not everyone would wear a bathrobe like a cape.
Me: *falling asleep to an audiobook on the science of the gut*
Book: saliva is actually filtered blood!
Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
Book: saliva also contains a painkiller that is stronger than morphine, but we don’t produce a lot of it otherwise we’d be constantly high
Me: ʕʘ Д ʘʔ
Opiorphin is 6x stronger than morphine and actually contains an anti-depressant compound which is why some doctors believe it’s linked to comfort eating
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